butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
