just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
