I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
