I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
