I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize