go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
