Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
