Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
