shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
