But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
