Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
