Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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