For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
