i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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