Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
