Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize