i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Randomize
