I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
