Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize