Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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