New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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