how do flat chested girls get laid?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
