I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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