new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
