i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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