if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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