I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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