it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
