did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
