He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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