so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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