so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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