I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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