He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
