Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
handjob tips. give me some.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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