i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
