Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
