that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
