Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm too high and old for this...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
