I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
