He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There r osticjed everywhere
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
