I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
