Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
