Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
