The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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