He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize