I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize