and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
