the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
