after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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