i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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