oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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