I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize