I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
