Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
