my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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