Can Purell be used as lube?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
