he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
