3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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