stop calling my apartment porn island.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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