I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
