she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
