They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
