He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize