so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
