he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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