i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
