I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
